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“Grandparents’ Reason”

By etavares On 31 July, 2009 More and Better | 2009 Comments Off on “Grandparents’ Reason” No tags

Book - Grandparents' ReasonThe book “A razão dos avós” (Grandparents’ Reason), published by Editorial Caminho in 2008, starts out by stressing the importance of grandparents in today’s society. They are the ones who guarantee the continuity of the family in many cases when divorce risks separating the members or in situations where the parents have become apart for other reasons. They now do this for much longer, as improved health care means that they live much longer: suffice to say that at the beginning of the XX century only one in tem people lived more than sixty years, while in 2000 only one in ten died before the age of sixty. A grandparent’s course can thus last about thirty years in a good physical and mental state of health.

Grandparents are an essential help for today’s parents. They help out financially (for example, in buying a house, a car or in everyday expenses, according to the family situation), they help looking after their grandchildren when they are little, and they are essential in a divorce, because faced with the threat of family break up the grandparents are always present.

Grandparents are the true historians of the family. They transmit values, which is an essential task nowadays, when sometimes that transmission may not be clear: who better than them to talk about respect, truth and accepting difference? They are the guarantees of affection and protection, but they may question the permissive style that is so frequent in today’s parents. They know that it is necessary to establish limits, but they also know that absolute authoritarianism is condemned nowadays. Due to the response to the crises they overcame with their children (now parents), they know that authority is based on relationships and this should be founded on the intimacy with their children and grandchildren.

In the situation of divorce they grant their grandchildren unconditional love at the moment of the crisis, at the time of the separation and often in the now single parent home. They should not take sides and should remember that these are situations of discord and conflict between the parents that make the separation more difficult, even more than the loss felt by the grandchildren. They also need to bear in mind that they should not become too close to the parent who has remained alone (usually the mother), as this will not contribute towards the desired autonomy.

Being a grandfather means we can fall in love again, but it isn’t always easy. The book “A razão dos avós” warns about some difficulties. For example, when the second generation (that of the current parents) has not become autonomous and remains undifferentiated, in conflict or emotionally dependent on their parents (now grandparents). Or when grandparents have problems with the new members of the family (sons and daughters in law), which might come about with the birth of the first grandchildren. Or also when the grandchildren grow up and the grandparents, now in old age, are living their physical and mental decline and feel that the young ones are not present much: at that time it is important for everyone to reflect and seek answers in the intra-family intimacy and in dialogue with other grandparents.

A debate was held about this book in the Winter Garden of the S. Luiz Theatre in Lisbon on the 20th of April 2009, with the participation of Maria Barroso, Isabel Alçada, Marcelo Rebelo de Sousa and the author. The debate was moderated by the journalist Luís Osório, was sponsored by the Rádio Clube Português, and centred on the role of grandparents in today’s society and on their importance in transmitting affection in a world undergoing change.

 

Daniel Sampaio,
Full Professor in Psychiatry and Mental Health at the Faculty of Medicine of the University of Lisbon
d.sampaio@netcabo.pt

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Index – News # 7 | jul. 2009
 FMUL challenges in 2009-2010
 Swearing-in Ceremony for the FMUL Administrative Bodies
 Swearing-in of the Governing Bodies of the AEFML
 Relationship between conservation of Urban Forest resources, Science and Public Health
 Last Lesson by Professor Luciano Ravara
 Candidatures to the Harvard Medical School-Portugal Programme start soon
 Ten Tips for an Unforgettable Summer
 Children’s Day
 12th International EAHIL Conference – Lisbon 2010
 II Prevention of Obesity Projects Forum
 “Grandparents’ Reason”
 New Premises for the Academic Services and the Treasury Office
 Book of the Month
 6th Competition for the AstraZeneca Foundation / FMUL Research Grant
 Instituto de Medicina Molecular tem novo website
 PFIZER Research Prize 2009
 XIX DuPont Science Prize
 Academic Exams carried out at the FMUL
 Teacher Participation on Juries for Academic Assessment in other Institutions
 Saint Anthony of Lisbon
 Comments and Suggestions
 Evaluation of the Curricular Reform 2008/2009 – FMUL Teachers
 The Future of Bologna, 10 years on
 IV YES MEETING – Young European Scientist Metting
 XXXV Annual Meeting of the Portuguese Society of Immunology
 Are you interested in Guidelines? Two International Meetings in Our School, in Lisbon
 Doctors on the Big Screen
 Dom Manuel de Mello Study Grant
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100 AnosPropriedade e Edição: Faculdade de Medicina da Universidade de Lisboa NIPC: 502662875  Periodicidade: Mensal  Diretor: Prof. Doutor Fausto J. Pinto Conselho Editorial: Prof. Doutor Fausto J. Pinto, Profª. Doutora Ana Sebastião, Prof. Doutor Mamede de Carvalho, Prof. Doutor António Vaz Carneiro, Prof. Doutor Miguel Castanho, Dr. Luís Pereira  Equipa Editorial:  Ana Raquel Moreira, Cristina Bastos, Isabel Varela, Joana Sousa, Maria de Lurdes Barata, Rui Gomes, Sónia Teixeira  Colaboração:  Gabinete de Relações Públicas, Internacionais e Comunicação  Versão Inglesa: AP|PORTUGAL- Language Services  Conceção: Metatexto, Lda. e-mail: news@medicina.ulisboa.pt  Sede do Editor e Sede da Redação: Avenida Prof. Egas Moniz, 1649-028 Lisboa Estatuto Editorial Anotado na ERC 

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